


Try To Start a Tab With Me, Will You...

by Mari_Keiyou



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Bondage, Ecto-Penis, Ecto-Tongue, F/M, Flirty Sans, Minor Grillby/Sans, Monster Heat, Oral, Penetration, Soul Sex, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-06-05 01:26:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6683854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mari_Keiyou/pseuds/Mari_Keiyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sans tells a story about how it's a bad idea to irk the Spider Queen of Hotland.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Try To Start a Tab With Me, Will You...

“you seriously wouldn’t believe what happened to me yesterday.”

“....”

“i-uh; i kinda had a run-in with muffet. y’know her, the greedy spider queen. we go way back actually, knew each other when we were kids... i say it like that; but it was more like i knew her because we went to the same school for years...”

“....”

“i know, you did too... but unlike you, she tried to steal money from papyrus on the playground once and we got in a fight over it.”

_swig ___

“look, long story short, i stuck around since we hadn’t talked in awhile, and i pissed her off cause i couldn’t pay for a doughnut-a frigging doughnut that, i should mention; she offered me. i told her i’d pay later, but nah; she don’t operate like that.”

_swig ___

“of course how was i suppose to know she was going through some weird spider heat, and she was all ‘try to start a tab with me will you- ahuhuhu’ so there i was with my hands all tied up and she’s got my damn soul in her hand while straddling me like a fucking motorcycle-”

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“....”

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“what? you want details?! seriously? you dirty sinner. fine; i’ll start from where i was just finishing having what was actually a nice chat with her...”

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\----

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“...And then the king hands me this napkin with an ‘I.O.U.’ written on it and I tell him “Do I look like a charity to you?”

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“heh, bet that got his ‘goat’.”

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“Well dearie, I don’t play favorites, royalty or not.” Muffet sipped her tea, ignoring the pun. “That reminds me, didn’t you say you had to be at the castle soon?” 

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“oh right, the human.” Sans stood up and stretched. “they should be near mettaton’s hotel by now.” He winked at Muffet. “it’s been nice catching up with ya.”

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A cute grin spread across the spider lady’s puffy face. “Yes it has. You should try to visit Hotland more often...”

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“i would...” Sans rubbed the back of his head pensively. “but ya see... too many memories... i just can’t... short of my jobs, it... just doesn’t feel right sticking around for too long.”

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Muffet sighed. “I understand, I truly do.” Despite the fact that the tea had long ago grown cold she poured herself another cup. “And nobody blames you... or your brother for it.”

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“thanks... i guess.” Sans turned to leave.

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“Ahu, aren’t you forgetting something, dear?” 

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Sans looked back to Muffet. The dainty arachnid had all arms folded on the table and she stared down Sans with what he could only surmise as her ‘business as usual’ glance.

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“what did i forget, goodbye hugs?” He asked her.

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“The money you owe me for the doughnut of course.” She giggled.

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“wait, you mean that little pastry you had your buddies sit in front of me?” Earlier during their talk a group of bitsy spiders marched down from the ceiling carrying an expensive looking tea tray and two of them dropped a fancy plate with a doughnut on it in front of him. Thinking nothing strange about the gesture he had devoured it.

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Forgetting entirely that Muffet isn’t the type to hand out free things, company or not.

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“Well?” She gazed at him expectantly. “Three hundred gold, and this is at a discount dearie.”

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“oh...wow. look, i misunderstood something.” He could feel sweat beading on his skull as Muffet’s face slowly fell from sweet to sour each time he spoke. “i actually just paid my house rent not long ago, so i’m flat broke.”

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A sheen of purple swept across Muffets cheeks and her eyes narrowed dangerously. “E-excuse me?!”

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“i’m not a freeloader, muffy. i get paid next week.-”

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“No no no, don’t you ‘Muffy’ me!” Muffet stood up startlingly fast from her seat, sending the poor furniture to it’s side. “You come into my house after not seeing you for years and you think you can just start a tab with me?! Do I look like Grillby to you?!”

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“hey, how the heck was i suppose to know it wasn’t free, you just had it in front of me like a peace offering.”

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Muffet took a deep breath and a look Sans hadn’t really paid attention to gleamed in her eyes again. All through their conversation he’d seen it happen, but assumed it was a light reflecting from somewhere in the room...

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Only... Muffet’s home didn’t have any windows.

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Nor did it have any kind of lighting that would make her eyes flash such a vivid shade of fuchsia. 

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“Ahuhuhu...” She giggled, her grin widening as she spoke. “Try to start a tab with me, will you?”

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It was only for a few seconds, but there was no mistaking the rush of silky tendrils that wound around his legs as Sans tried to back away.

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“m-muffet, this really isn’t necessary.”

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Sharp fangs extruded from Muffet’s mouth as she took dainty steps towards Sans, stopping above him as the webbing bound his arms behind his back and roughly pulled him to the floor.  
“Usually, I would be far more uncaring...” She sat down on Sans’s middle as she spoke. “Somebody with the gall to just eat and run would be getting a sound beating from my pet... buuuut.” two hands held Sans by his shoulders and another was inching it’s way up the front of his sweater. 

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“wait-wait, the hell are you d- fsss!” Sans felt his whole face heat up as Muffet gently tugged his soul from under his ribs, holding it out in the open and giving it a bit of squeeze. 

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“I think with you, I will take my payment by having a bit of fun with you.”

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Sans winced. “i’m think-thinking you and i have different opinions on how ‘fun’ this is.”

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“Is that so?” The blue heart glowed in betrayal, throbbing under her touch and she giggled. “It appears to me like you agree to this trade off.” She gave it a tender lick.

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All Sans could do was writhe and shudder as Muffet fondled his soul. Where she sat he could feel his hips warming up and knew that if she kept teasing him like that...  
“m-m-u...” He tried to say her name, beads of sweat ran down his skull and he could feel the same wet sheen on his soul. “muffet please...”

____

“Ahuhuhu, I do enjoy that very much.” She knew Sans’s magic was going haywire, and that was her goal. While the one hand massaged the little blue soul her other hands were busy feeling up the stocky skeleton. She was aware monster skeletons were far more malleable than the average undead looking fare, but the way the strong and soft ivory warmed under her touch made her own soul jolt in excitement. 

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“I like hearing you beg, Sans...” She cooed, reaching behind herself and running her spindly fingers down his lap. “Do it again.”

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“fucking hell-!” Sans cried out instead, trying to worm himself away from Muffet’s touch, irked that he wasn’t more upset about it. “i-if you’re gonna screw me, j-just do it already!”

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“Now now, you are no position to make demands dear.” Muffet laughed, delighted at Sans’s meager attempt to escape. She softly ran her hand down the front seam of his pants and cupped him there, and both the skeleton the little blue soul in her hand shuddered. “I am going to make sure you scream my name by the end of this.”

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“MUFFET!”

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Muffet blinked in surprise at the sudden outburst... then went into a fit of giggles. “Ahuhuhu, nice try dear.” She leaned down and kissed the top of his skull. “That was a cute attempt, but I am far from being satisfied.” 

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An intense heat stated pooling into Sans’s pelvic region and he hissed as the hand Muffet had been using to caress his thigh slid under the hem of his pants, taking hold of the magic that sprouted there. Just having her kneading at his soul was enough to put him on edge, but now, between her other hands stroking the bones under his clothes and the one taking it’s time feeling up his dick, he was sure he’d burst well before Muffet would be through with... with...

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Sans noticed the glow in her eyes again, and with another shuddering sigh he stopped trying to fight her off. 

____

_‘Well, I’ve been in worse boners than this. Might as well enjoy it.’ ___

 _ _He thought to himself.__

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“Dearie.” Muffet said softly, her voice a heady moan as she was grinding herself against him. “You stopped struggling.”

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Sans chuckled. “maybe it’s cause i figured out what’s really going on here.”

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Muffet paused, a look of irritation in her eyes. “Oh really? And what might that be, pray tell?”

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Using what energy he could, Sans mustered up his best sly expression. “If ya just wanted to fuck, ya could have asked; no need for that little set up.”

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Muffet huffed, Scooting back and getting up a little to drag Sans’s pants down over his pelvis and to slip off her bloomers. “I’m in heat, you moron...” Her gaze fell on his erect magic and she bit her lower lip, a soft purple blush on her cheeks. “It could have been anyone, and I’d have set them up the same way...” Holding his soul close to her chest, she lowered her head between his legs and gave his erection a small lick, earning a shuddering sigh from him. “I suppose I should at least be grateful that it was an old crush.”

____

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Sans’s eye sockets widened. “say what?” He craned his neck to look at Muffet, her whole mouth was around his dick, and he found that he liked the view. “since when?!”

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She wound her tongue around the blue head and pulled back to look him in the eye. “When we were younger. You remember that day I tried to bully Papyrus out of his lunch money?”

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A little sad that he’d asked her since she stopped sucking his dick, he answered. “yeah, i remember it.”

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“Nobody had ever stood up to me like that before.”

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Muffet scooted back up on him, close enough that he could see the soft slit between her legs. Sans arched his spine when she settled against dick, grinding against it without aiming to penetrate. 

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Sans groaned, lamenting the bonds holding him down.

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“After that day, I found I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I even wrote confession letters and tore them up daily... except by the time I finally got the courage to give you one of those letters.”

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He stopped grinding back against Muffet and glanced away from her. “oh, i left with my bro...” 

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Muffet could feel a distinct pulse from the soul in her hand, but she didn’t need that to guess how he felt about it... the look in his vacant orbs were enough. She sighed. “Oh well, it was a long time ago. Besides...” She ran two hands over his ribs and traced lazy circles on his sternum. “I realized as I got older that I just wanted to see you naked.” 

____

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At this, Sans busted out laughing. “well gee, i hope i didn’t disappoint you.”

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She looked the stocky skeleton up and down and shrugged. “You are no Mettaton, but you are not bad to look at...” The sheen in her eyes flashed again, and she ground her waist against him again. “Oh, but damn this heat.”

____

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“do you go through this often?” Sans asked, wishing she’d hurry up and stick it in, he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold out.

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“Heavens no, just once every three years... I would be an absolute mess if this happened all the time.” 

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“i don’t doubt it.” Sans tried to move his arms again, but to no avail. “y’know, it would be easier for me to help if i wasn’t bound like this...”

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She paused. “So you say...” Muffet gave him a piercing gaze.

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Sans grinned a little wider and his left eye flashed a vivid cyan. “trust me babe, i ain’t going anywhere.”

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A lusty pout grazed Muffet’s face before she relented, calling back the silky tendrils. “You had better not.”

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As soon as his hands were free, Sans leaned up, wrapping his hands around Muffet’s middle, pulling her slim waist towards his face. 

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“Ahu, what are you doing?” She squeaked.

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A slick blue tongue slid from between Sans’s open mouth and pushed into the soft folds of her opening.

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“Ahh! Oh sweet delta!” She cried out. The magic tongue dove deep and swirled and out, sliding against her clit and back in again. He chuckled as he watched her face contort into a hot purple mess. She breathed out his name in broken tones. “Sah-sah... Sans...”

____

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He pushed his tongue in deeper and he felt the walls of her vagina press back. Denying her a proper release, he slid his tongue back and the look on her face would have killed a lesser monster.

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“Do- I did not tell you to sto-!!” She started to berate, but a skeletal finger pressed against her lips and she silenced herself. 

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“i never said said i was done.” Sans leaned in and he slipped the same languid tongue past her parted lips.

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The next few moments were a series of groans, moans, and ahus as the two monsters copulated for what seemed like hours. Sweat slicked bone and spider flesh sandwiched together as the rest of their clothes found themselves scattered away from their lovemaking. 

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Sans glanced at his soul, still sweating and pulsing in Muffet’s hand, and managing to focus for a moment. He trailed his hand over her chest, grazing her soft breasts teasingly and his hand slid past her ethereal skin to tug her soul out and give it the same treatment she gave his.

____

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Taking an opportunity while she moaned into the feeling of her soul being played with, he scooted her back so she was positioned above his groin and he bucked upward, a deep rumbling growl rose from his voice as she finally sank onto him.

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“A-a-ahu Sans!” She held onto the webbed floor and onto Sans as they slammed into one another. After a few more fast pumps she came, plunging down once more as waves of ecstasy pulsed through her.

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“h-holy shit- muffet!” Sans shot up to hold her close as his own orgasm rocked his soul.

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After coming down from their shared high, Muffet laughed softly against his skull. “Told you... told you I’d make you scream my name.”

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He chuckled, his erect magic culling back and leaving behind his spent mess. “you yelled my name first.”

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“Oh, you are so cheeky.” Muffet ahued and tapped him on the shoulder. 

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\----

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“....”

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“what else happened? sheesh; you’re being awful nosy for someone i just spoke to in depth about my sex life. ya jealous?”

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“....”

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“uh huh, that why you look steamed? muffet ain’t into pillow talk so we got dressed and said our goodbyes. the end.”

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“....”

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___swig ____ _

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“no really, that’s all. so how about one more drink for the road home, pal?”

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______ _ _

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“....”

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“bottles empty? heh, thought my shot glass was a bit too full while i was talking, how did i miss that? ah well. mind putting this one on my tab?”

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“... I think I’d rather you stay over and do the dishes, Sans.”

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Sans laughed, trying to take another drink from the empty shot glass and shook his head. “sure, sure.” He gazed at the bartender slyly. “will it be just for the dishes though?”

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“...We’ll see.”

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FIN

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End file.
